Something your parents might not have told you about life is that you have to keep up. They may have told you to be responsible. They may have told you to clean your bedroom. They may have told you to do your homework. But how many of us grew up in households where the motto was, “Do it now?”
THE PAINT INCIDENT
My parents took their time getting things done. Possibly because they had their hands full with my brother Gary’s schizophrenia. I remember one day Gary, untreated at that point, got a can of red paint and painted something across my parent’s bedroom door. And the painted words stayed sprawled across my parent’s door a very long time. Maybe even my whole childhood. I got the message that you left things unfinished or damaged; that you put doing unpleasant things off, even if it made things more unpleasant in the long run. Like losing weight, or fixing a screen, or getting help.
Granted, you may have been raised in a strict environment where you felt the pressure of having to perform up to standards, but did you learn the value of taking immediate action on your own goals? Of not postponing your dreams? Of not putting off the hard stuff?
ADRENALINE NO MORE
I remember hearing the phrase, “A stitch in time saves nine”, but I don’t remember living by it. I let myself slack. That’s not to say I was not ambitious, but ambition without discipline is like a great athlete without a good pair of shoes and a game to play. I used to wait until the adreneline rush of a last minute deadline to get going. I fooled myself by thinking I worked best under pressure, when I really lacked the discipline to get a head start. Or else I sabotauged myself by having so many irons in the fire that I couldn’t keep up with the most important things in my life, like prayer, meditation and giving myself better adult supervision.
There’s a mastermind group I am in with two close friends that I joined a few years ago, and my MM buddies were getting pretty frustrated with me committing to so many things that I didn’t follow through on. They tried hard to support me. And, boy were they mad and super jealous (almost like I cheated on them) when I told them I had joined MKMMA and explained how well it is working for me, as if they’d failed me. They didn’t. I just didn’t have all the tools, the level of support and information I needed. I do now, baby! And I still belong to my original MM where I get to show up with my s_ _ _ done each week!
The Divine Masculine, Collage by Val Olson